bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize