I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Shame is for Republicans.
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