i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
