well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
