Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
