If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
It's just like the Real World with babies
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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