i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
