If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
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