i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
