drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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