my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
