He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
