Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
