Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
