So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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