Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
