well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
