dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize