You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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