am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize