A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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