Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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