Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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