By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize