Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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