Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
