I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize