i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
