just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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