I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
