the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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