Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Someone came in the potted fern
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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