Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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