Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
