Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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