i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
