I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize