dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
it glows. i had to have it.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
