What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
