Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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