i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
