There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
