the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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