So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
