I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
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