So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
