party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
