watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize