they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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