Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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