I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize