we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize