Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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