we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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