Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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