I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
