The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
So squirting runs in the family.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
