i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
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