Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I love how my cats smell like pot.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
