I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
whose ass print is on the piano?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
