Umm I'm too high to move.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
