U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
